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Before my son was born I worked a traditional work schedule. M-F, 8-5. I had 3 weeks of vacation. My weekends were jam packed with friends, family, eating out, hanging out, comedy clubs, bars, etc.... It was really quite gluttonous. Then we had a baby and I made a drastic career change. This could be a whole other blog post- Making Huge Life Decisions While on Maternity Leave. I do think I will revisit this topic, soon!
Anywho- Now I have a kid and am an Independent Contractor (which is code for I am my own boss)My husbands hours and days off have also changed. He is a Cincinnati Police Officer (shout out to the 5-0!) His schedule has varied greatly over the last 10 years, and presently, his off days rotate. (This is code for we never a day off together anymore) I work lots of nights and weekends due to demand but I do control my own schedule. Because I have been selling Real Estate exclusively in a down market, I have really felt compelled to be readily accessible for my clients. I think this is partially why I have had success in a time when many Realtors are packing up and shipping out. I also think that certain aged clients have come to expect immediate results. I always wonder if I tell someone no, will they just google the next person until they get a yes? Who hasn't tried to get into the Doctor for an issue that has been bugging you for a while, and then been told you can't be seen for 2 months? Next step, google local Doctors and start calling! Now- I would never be so inaccessible that I would make a client wait 2 months, but you get my point.Due to all of the aforementioned circumstances, I have found it really difficult to ever give myself an entire day off. I have taken two vacations since having this new life and ended up working both times. The first time, I didn't mind it. This last time, I made an effort not to work, but it still happened and I was a little upset with myself. As my next vacation slowly approaches, I am finding myself trying to plan in advance.
Please know that I am not at all complaining! I hate being bored. This life I lead is no longer boring. I never know what is going to happen when I wake up in the morning. I meet new clients daily and I love it. What I do know is that while I love that each day is different, I am not at all balancing work and family the way I want to be.
I have a lot of thoughts about this - but here are two that might be useful.
ReplyDelete1. I used to think of reaching a balance was a "state" that I would reach eventually when I mastered everything. But so much in life changes everyday that it seems impossible to expect that balance would look the same in the future. So I have adopted a daily goal of balance instead. I wake up and mantra: Strive For Balance. That sets me up to evaluate all the decisions I make in the day against my goal. I do a little self-check on how I feel I am doing around lunch. Have I made room for my social circle to strengthen? Have I made any choices to feed my marriage? Have I done anything to make myself a super equipped all-star teacher for Benjamin? From here I can try to steer the boat back in the right direction if I am lopsided. Some days it just isn't going to happen. But when I approach it as a daily goal i hit GOLD a lot more often. That helps my psyche a lot more than feeling like I constantly fail while trying to reach an ideal future state.
2. A book I read recently also really resonated with me and helped me gain insights on what motivates me, what really inspires me, what nurtures my feel good vibes... and with the things I've learned from the exercises in the book I do a much better job making decisions that keep me in balance. Fire Starter Sessions. It might be worth a read.
Thanks for your ideas, SuzyQ. My first thought while reading your post was that sometimes at lunch time I still haven't remembered to eat my breakfast. :(
ReplyDeleteSo, on that note, I think I might benefit from reading the book you suggested. I do like setting smaller goals that are less ominous than the big ultimate goals I have in my mind. Inever thought of balancing work and family in that way for some reason.